Why?

So, the whole picture a day in January didn't work out. LOL. I was really determined, but for some reason fell off the bandwagon mid January.

I'm blogging today because I wanted everyone I know and love to know what is going on with me and my family.

As I sit here and type this, I'm in a hospital room with my Dad at Baptist East. Let me start from the beginning. (I am beginning to type this blog on Wednesday, February 2, 2012)

Last Thursday, I was ya know, just teaching fractions to my third graders. I finished up my lesson and just as my associate teacher was about to teach her Science lesson, I looked down at my phone and had a missed call and voice mail from a number I didn't recognize. I stepped out for a minute to check the voice mail. It was a nurse from a Dr. Matthew's with UT Medical group informing me that my dad had come in for an appointment that day, he was being transported by ambulance to Baptist East.

**Side info, and it might be TMI, but I knew my dad had this appointment. He was going to the doctor (had been putting it off too!) to check on the problem that he has always struggled with: hemorrhoids. (Sorry, TMI)

So, of course, I call this doctors office back and get the details. The nurse tells me that my dad came in, was very weak, almost passed out, sweating profusely, and had blood saturated through his pants. They took him back to the examining room. Dr. Matthew's took one look at the "situation" and ordered him to be transported to the hospital. The nurse shared with me that Dr. Matthew's explained that he was dealing with something much worse than a hemorrhoid. She brought up the "C" word...ya know...Cancer.

One would think I would freak out at this point. Really I didn't. My dad is no stranger to grand entrances into the hospital that often result in a lengthy hospital stay. He struggles with diabetes, heart disease, and a bunch of other stuff too. I told my boss what was going on, and headed to Baptist East.

It was a long wait in the ER. I have come to the conclusion that the ER at any hospital is NOTHING like the ER on Grey's Anatomy. Not only do the NOT have a McDreamy or McSteamy, but they literally don't have it on their agenda to speed the whole process up. My dad went in with immediate orders from Dr. Matthew's to admit him. So, one would think that we would have a room in a reasonable amount of time (1-2 hours). Yea...no. Try 8 hours. Yes. 8. All that fuss aside, for the most part, my dad was a good patient. I could tell he was weak, he hadn't shaved in days, and that his small problem had been progressing, and he had hid it very well.

While we waited, I never really got upset about what we were dealing with. Until this one moment happened. (WARNING, this may be very gross to you, so if you are easily disgusted, don't read this, I'm blogging this for my memory.) At one point, my dad needed to go to the restroom (just to pee!). They wouldn't let him walk across the hall to the restroom so they give him this bedside thing to use. I step out and let the nurses do their thing. As I turned around to see if everything was done and I could go back in, I peeked through the blinds just in time to see bright red blood splattered all over the floor. Whoa. The nurse cleaned it up. She got him back in bed and came out in the hall. I asked her, "WHAT WAS THAT!?" She explained it was bleeding from his gastro-intestinal tract. Great. What she didn't warn me for was the smell that accompanied that blood. I walked back in, and immediately was hit with this very, very distinct smell that I will never forget. That was my moment of freak out. I walked straight out of the room, straight out of the ER and into the waiting room to where the doors were opening and closing with fresh air. I started crying. I was scared at that point.

I was supposed to go to Nashville on Friday for a work trip. My boss quickly said "No go!" on that. I was thankful. I knew I needed to be at the hospital to try and figure out what was going on.

(Continuing this update on 2/4/12)

We finally got to a room about 11pm. I was SO tired. I had to fill out all of this paper work because I am my dads Power of Attorney and he was too weak to do it. Once they got him settled in the bed and I turned in the paper work I thought I would head home for the night. Hmm..No. They ordered my dad to be put on an O2 monitoring machine to measure how much oxygen his blood was carrying. (His blood work was so out of whack. The nurse said, every test came back abnormal except his urine.) My dad also has sleep apnea. When he would fall asleep, his breathing would become irregular, and that O2 monitor would go off. The nurse told me it would be best if I would go to my dad's house and pick up his sleep apnea machine so that he would get enough oxygen.

So here it is, 12am at this point, and I'm heading to my dad's house. I go in his house and start to look for the things I need...and there....it hits me again...that SMELL. Blood from the gastro-intestinal tract. There was blood on his bed, his chair, on towels in a pile in the laundry room. I started crying again. This problem was potentially huge. I tried my best to keep my focus through the blood and the smell and gathered the things he needed. 12:30, I'm back in the car and headed back to the hospital.

I deliver the things, make sure my dad is settled and head for home around 1:00am. I was dragging. I had been up since 5:30 THURSDAY morning. I came home and I still smelled the smell. It was like stuck on me. I took my boot off, I smelled it. I took my coat off, I smelled it. If I hadn't been so dang tired I would have taken a hot scalding shower. But, I did the next best thing, drowned myself in perfume and got in bed.

I woke up my normal time for work, showered, got ready and headed back to the hospital to try and see each and every doctor who would come by to see him. There was a WHOLE lot.

Dr. Witherington - Internal Medicine
Dr. Willins - Lungs
Dr. Beasley - Surgeon
Dr. Matthews - Surgeon
Another doctor for blood
Another doctor for diabetes
Another doctor for GI

So at the end of the day, we saw all of these great doctors. Very nice and informative. The only problem was that it was the weekend, and nothing really could be done over the weekend. So we set a plan. My dad would have a colonoscopy on Monday. We would go from there.

So, Monday rolls around and I go on to work. A colonoscopy is a routine procedure and the doctor promised me a phone call. So, my dad calls me around 8:30 and says that they are taking him down for the colonoscopy. About an hour or so later I get a call from the doctor. He tells me that the mass that my dad has is so large that he was unable to get the scope past it without hurting my dad (even under heavy sedation). So, we had to wait for a new plan to be put in place.

I headed to the hospital after school, and was able to catch Dr. Matthews. He said that the next day (Tuesday) they were taking my dad down for exploratory surgery to see what was going on. I wound up having to leave work fairly early in the morning because they bumped his exploratory surgery up from 3pm to 10am.

(Continuing this post on 2/5/12)

By the time I got to the hospital, they had already taken my dad down for the surgery. The nurse explained that I would just wait in his room and they would call me with updates. They called to say they had started, they called to say the were done, and they called to say that my dad was in recovery. When I got the call from the recovery nurse, I asked her why I hadn't heard from the surgeon yet. Just as I said that Dr. Matthews was walking through the door. He didn't just call me, he came up to the room. I think that's an admirable quality.

Dr. Matthews explained that they found a mass and it was rather large. He indicated about the size of a softball. He also explained that it was cancer. Specifically, "Squamous Cell Carcinoma." So, we were given the diagnosis of Anal Cancer. They brought my dad back about an hour later. I had time to compose myself before he came back. I'm the one who told him, no one had indicated to him what he was dealing with.

So the next step was getting referred to an oncologist. Luckily, my boss and her husband are working with an amazing oncologist and he came highly recommended. I asked for him.

Enter...Dr. Weeks, oncologist.

I will keep these updates coming on my blog. Thank you to all of my family and friends who have covered me in prayer. I truly feel it. I need you all more than anything.

"You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining"

- John Mayer